How to Lose Friends and Alienate Gifts: A Trier Guide

 

               Reality Bites, Fiction Hugs 

             (with Stellan Skarsgård)

    There are films that you watch… and there are films that politely take your soul, turn it upside down, and then invite it out for coffee.

 Joachim Trier’s Sentimental Value belongs firmly to the latter category.

Three people and one ghost of a past gather in a house: a legendary actor (Stellan Skarsgård) who refuses to grow old gracefully, his daughter (Renate Reinsve) who can say more with one sigh than most people manage in a TED Talk, and Elle Fanning, who shows up like a bittersweet question mark in the middle of their emotional Scrabble game.

They talk, they clash, they love, they regret. 

In short: it’s a family reunion where the main dish is existential crisis, served warm with a side of laughter and tears.

By the end, you realize the moral: don’t refuse love, friendship, or even roles in strange little films—because unlike Netflix recommendations, those chances don’t come back.

At the heart of it all stands Stellan Skarsgård, in a performance so magnetic that one half-expects the other actors to start orbiting around him like confused satellites. 

He doesn’t just act—he smuggles entire emotional landscapes onto the screen with the ease of a man opening a sardine tin. 

His presence alone could make a phone book reading feel like Shakespearean tragedy.

 Stellan Skarsgård delivers a performance so good it should be illegal in at least three countries. 

He doesn’t just act—he casually detonates emotional bombs while pretending it’s just another Tuesday. 

Honestly, if gravity had feelings, Skarsgård would be the one pulling them down to earth.

But Stellan is not alone in this emotional heist. 

Renate Reinsve delivers interiorized, fabulous acting of the kind that makes you lean in closer, afraid you’ll miss the micro-expression that just shattered your heart. 

She can turn silence into dialogue, a glance into an essay. One day someone will write a PhD thesis on her ability to communicate the end of the world with just an eyebrow.

And then there’s Elle Fanning, who offers a wonderfully bittersweet interpretation, like a cocktail that starts sweet, slides into sour, and ends by leaving you tipsy with existential regret. 

She is sunshine and storm in the same frame—reminding us that joy and pain are often roommates who refuse to pay separate rent.

But here’s the kicker: the film quietly points out the terrible human habit of refusing what’s offered—love, friendship, a role in a film, or simply the last slice of pizza.

 Spoiler: those gifts don’t come back. They vanish forever, like socks in a washing machine. Pride may keep your hands clean, but it leaves your heart rather empty.

Beyond the performances, the film whispers (or perhaps yells, depending on your personal level of stubbornness) a cautionary tale: refusing what others give us, may seem like an act of proud independence, but it is in fact a first-class ticket to regret.

What Trier does so devilishly well is blur the line between fiction and reality. 

Reality, after all, is often stranger, sharper, and more unrelenting than any script.

 But fiction has its secret power: it can hold up the unbearable truths of reality, give them a neat frame, and let us sit in the dark, safe, while the therapeutic magic does its work. 

It hurts—yes. But it hurts beautifully.

 In short: reality punches you in the gut; fiction gives you a bruise and then a hug.

Sentimental Value is Trier’s playful proof that you can stand in Bergman’s shadow without getting a sunburn.

Existential family drama, yes, but now with Wi-Fi, better haircuts, and the occasional laugh.

If Bergman’s films were like being locked in a chilly Swedish cabin with your innermost fears, Trier’s Sentimental Value is the same cabin—but someone remembered to bring wine, music, and Elle Fanning.

So, is Sentimental Value a comedy, a tragedy, or a therapy session disguised as cinema?

 The answer is: yes. 

Sentimental Value is equal parts therapy, tragedy, and comedy. 

Just remember: when life offers you something, take it. 

Especially if it’s a film starring Stellan Skarsgård.

By Giulia Dobre

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